


Luminosity

by Bazylia_de_Grean



Series: Endings to Bring Closure [9]
Category: Pillars of Eternity
Genre: F/M, outrageous fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-15
Updated: 2019-04-15
Packaged: 2020-01-14 13:13:25
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,198
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18476947
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bazylia_de_Grean/pseuds/Bazylia_de_Grean
Summary: Shortly before his return, Eidis did – for the first time – entertain the thought that she would like to see what courtship looks like. A dinner, wine, a pretty dress – silly things she had stumbled upon in a book or two.She still finds the dress beautiful, but she is beginning to doubt her decision She thought it would make her feel more confident, but that is not how she feels. She thought that Thaos might like it. But now she cannot stop worrying that he will just find it ridiculous.





	Luminosity

**Author's Note:**

  * For [rannadylin](https://archiveofourown.org/users/rannadylin/gifts).



> (From the 'kiss prompts' list from tumblr, prompt: 11: ‘We’re actually being kind of silly for once’ kiss.)

Eidis keeps telling herself it is just impatience. He arrived in the morning, and they could only greet officially because there was a whole crowd of people in the throne room, and then she had to deal with the petitioners, as usual, and she barely even had a chance to tell him they could eat an early dinner in her chambers later. It has been almost a year since he departed, and she could not even embrace him, and...

And, truth be told, she is nervous. It has been almost a year. She knows he is glad to see her again, she has glimpsed that in his thoughts, but...

Shortly before his return, Eidis did – for the first time – entertain the thought that she would like to see what courtship looks like. A dinner, wine, a pretty dress – silly things she had stumbled upon in a book or two. The first two were easy enough to arrange. The dress was even easier – she had commissioned one years earlier but never worn it. An Engwithan design, based on one of the mosaics from the Paths.

The gown itself is simple – white, thin, soft, layers and tiny folds; nothing extraordinary. But the jewellery changes it completely: a collar – wide enough to reach her shoulders – made of fabric, but embroidered with tiny copper plates and adra beads and gems so heavily that it could pass as a piece of some intricate armour; a matching belt, and elaborate bracers on her hands, reaching from her wrists almost all the way to the elbows, but made of adra-encrusted copper lace so thin she can barely feel the weight.

Eidis still finds the dress beautiful, but now, as she watches her reflection in the mirror, she is beginning to doubt her decision. She thought it would make her feel more confident, but that is not how she feels. She thought that Thaos might like it; he has never seen her a real gown before, after all. But now she cannot stop worrying that he will just find it ridiculous.

She steps towards her vanity table decisively, fingers reaching to the clasps holding the bracers together. If she hurries, she will be able to change back into her robe and...

“Eidis?” Thaos calls from her study.

She turns abruptly just as the door creaks, and suddenly he is there. Stunned. Watching her. His gaze follows the whole length of her body, down to the hem of the gown, and then back up to her face. Admiring; she instantly forgets any doubts.

Slowly, he walks over to her. He looks glad of her surprise, and... moved? It is difficult to say for certain, but he seems touched that she would even think of it on that level – where he really comes from, and that there are reminders of that world ages ago which can be painless.

“You glow, soulmistress,” he murmurs, reaching out to run his fingertips along a loose strand of her hair that slipped out of the bun and hangs freely along her face, swaying softly in rhythm with his exhales.

Then he reaches into a pocket of his robe and takes out a hairpin; very similar to the one she once ordered in the Copper Lane. But this one looks old, ancient. Familiar. And familiar again; she knows, but she cannot recall anything.

Thaos leans in and gently puts it into her hair. “You looked like this,” he mutters as he pulls away, “when I first met you. It’s all I remember.”

Eidis looks into his eyes and sees ages staring back at her; she can feel the currents flowing through the thin copper branches, coiling up in the small adra beads... But there is nothing; no memory, no vision; all was cleaned away. There is nothing but the faint traces of recognition. She remembers she knew him before; now she is sensing she had known him before that.

She shakes her head. “I don’t remember, either. What... How...” She is not even sure what to ask.

“I probably did something terrible to you.” His answer is quiet, but there is no hesitation; just the bitter truth.

Eidis blinks. “Please, don’t...”

“Or maybe,” he adds gently, brushing his fingertips up her cheek, “maybe you tried to heal me. It seems that’s something you do quite often.”

“You’re jesting,” she protests, drawing in a shaky breath. He is touching her and this close, she can smell the adra incense on his hair, and it has been almost a year, and...

“I’m not,” Thaos replies quietly, cradling her face in his palms. “Not about this. Never again about this.” His hand drops to her shoulder briefly, then hovers at her belt. “May I?” he asks, looking into her eyes.

Eidis remembers how it felt when her soul was floating and then almost drowning in adra; it is the same feeling. “Yes,” she whispers, her throat suddenly dry.

Slowly, not touching her at all, he undoes the belt and carefully puts it away onto the vanity table. Then he goes down on one knee, lifts her foot and takes off her slipper – it is not matching the dress and usually, he would laugh at a lapse in such meticulous preparations, but this time he is serious.

Thaos does the same with her other shoe, but then, instead of letting go, he plants a small kiss on her knee. He gently sets her foot back on the ground and ghosts soft kisses up her thigh.

“My queen,” he murmurs, and presses an unhurried, reverent kiss to her hip; it burns her even through the fabric.

His hands come to rest on her hips as he trails kisses across her abdomen. Eidis is standing still, but her hands are trembling as she gently puts them on his head for balance, and her stomach is in knots and she cannot breathe. It has been almost a year, and this is too much, and...

His mouth trails up her ribs, and then Eidis gasps when he kisses the invisible line of the scar – wound – from another life. Her fingers tighten in his hair. It hurts – a piercing pain in her soul – she knows this is his way of apologising, but it hurts so much and...

Thaos pulls away and gets up in one swift motion, immediately seeking her eyes. “Eidis?” he asks quietly.

Not trusting her voice, she just nods; yes, she is fine.

Very gently, he disentangles her fingers from his hair and takes her hand in his. Slowly unclips the bracer, slides it off, lays it on the vanity. Kisses her knuckles; then her wrist. Takes the second bracer off, kisses the inside of her palm, presses an open-mouthed kiss to her pulse.

Her heartbeat seems so loud she can barely hear her uneven breaths. Thaos, of course, is calm. And very gentle. It has never been like this before. Oh, he has never been rough and has always made sure that she was certain what she wanted, but this feels vastly different. Or maybe, Eidis thinks in a haze, maybe it is just because a robe it much easier to take off than a gown.

He touches the edge of the collar. “May I?” When she nods, he steps around her and reaches straight for the clasps holding it together.

She does not ask how he knows where to find them among all the embroidery; she does not want to think of it. Which is easy when she can feel the light press of his hands against her shoulder blades, moving upwards. Then, with the final clasp, his fingers brush against her neck; she shivers.

Thaos carefully puts the collar away and then he is right before her, smiling. “You glow,” he repeats as he touches her face and slides his fingers into her hair, brushes their foreheads and thoughts together.

Eidis takes in a shaky breath. “I will burn,” she says quietly, “if you don’t...”

He kisses her. Softly. It is barely a kiss at all. She reaches up and grasps his wrists and holds onto them.

“Soulmistress,” he whispers against her lips, and kisses her again; it is tender and lingering, and she melts as he deepens the kiss languidly.

When they pull away, she is trembling for an entirely different reason. She missed him; she cannot stand another moment without at least a proper welcome.

Eidis wraps her arms around his neck, stretching onto her tiptoes, and holds him tightly, and he embraces her as well. There are so many things she wants to tell him, but in the end, no words would be better than this silent proof of yearning. She strokes his hair and clings to him and thinks that she does not want to let go. Oh, she will – she always does – but not for days yet – weeks, months – he is here now – he always comes back – he is...

“It has been cold without your fire, luminous girl,” he murmurs into her ear in response to her thoughts, stroking her hair and back.

“Thaos?” It sounds more like a sigh than an actual word. “Hold me.”

“Isn’t that what I am doing?” he replies playfully. “At least it was called so before I left.”

Eidis laughs, suddenly feeling weightless and carefree and so very bright.

He laughs, too; the familiar lows notes she likes so much. “May I?” he asks, moving the gown half an inch off her shoulder.

She pulls away a little, slides her hands down his chest and unties the sash holding his robe together. “Yes.”

His every gesture is respectful, but lingering. Eidis lets her gown drop to the floor, lets him take her hands as he steps backwards. She can see in his eyes how the sunlight outlines her skin and hair and the soft flowing chemise, how she literally glows – and that knowledge, and the way he looks at her, makes her light up inside.

Thaos sits on the bed, and she lets him pull her into his lap, and for a moment she simply hugs him, and for a while, they just look at each other. Then he strokes her cheek, her hair, then gently untangles the copper and adra pin and lays it aside. Eidis starts reaching up, but he stops her.

“Let me,” he says quietly, unclasps the pin holding her hair up in a complicated bun, and it tumbles down her shoulders and back. Thaos runs his hand through it. “You are beautiful.” There is a softer look in his sharp eyes; admiration.

It still feels strange to her, to know that now he sees her as any mortal man would; that there is that purely physical response, not only yearning for the fire of her soul. Though the latter is there, too – it has always been there, one way or another.

Eidis leans in and kisses him, for once thinking of nothing else than how this very moment they are sharing is perfect, as much as anything can be in the imperfect world.

* * *

 

They are lying entwined, and Thaos is trailing small kisses along her neck and across her shoulder, his fingers lazily stroking her hip. Eidis feels soft and boneless and warm, and content. Their souls are open and close together; it is like touching the surface of the ocean with one’s hand and feeling its vastness in that single point.

He nuzzles her cheek, and she turns her head and they kiss; it is languid and slightly sloppy because they are both tired; not anywhere near perfect and that is what makes it beautiful.

She puts her hand over his. “Are you happy?” She is not asking about this afternoon, just in general, but he will know; he always does.

Thaos looks at her face. “Are you?” That, more than anything, shows that he has changed; how he does not answer with a confirmation, with what he expects she would like to hear.

Eidis looks into his eyes; they are like lakes, deep and dark, but there is reflected sunlight somewhere in there, too. “Yes,” she answers in a whisper.

“Then I am, too.” He puts his finger to her lips before she can protest. “I’ve understood many things, since the memories came back to me. It’s all... complicated. But this, between us... this can be easier. I am glad it has become so.” He holds her, briefly closing his eyes. “And... I am at peace. As much as I can be. Thanks to you.”

“It’s... all I wanted,” she confesses, even though he already knows it.

He kisses her cheek, then her shoulder. “My queen,” he mutters into her neck. There is this reverence in his gestures again, as if he was ready to worship her if she would only let him; something that Eidis still cannot understand.

“Why?” she asks, instead of simply saying ‘no’. It is... not unwelcome, not the way he does it. Simply puzzling.

“You told me – had told me – we need to believe in something. I do, too, soulmistress. And you are what I choose to believe in.” He smiles at her gently. “You’ve shown me many times it’s impossible not to.”


End file.
